Dominus Illuminatio Mea

"...the gaze of the Church is constantly turned to her Lord, present in the Sacrament of the Altar, in which she discovers the FULL manifestantion of His boundless love." Ecclesia de Eucharistia

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

*sigh* Finally got the whole blogging thing figured out, and now I can do some actual writing. It's Christmas eve so I might as well stay up. I'd really love to go to Midnight Mass, but no such luck. Oh well.

I'm officially homesick. You'll think I'm crazy if you don't know me, but I'm homesick for the place where I can finally start formation (whether it be at Carmel, or in Irondale, or wherever). I know I lack patience. I need to settle down and focus on living each second for Christ here and now, but it is so hard to be patient about this. I've given thought to going to college, but really don't think that is an option. By the time I finish highschool I will have been discerning for eight years!! That's a long "engagement!" Then there's the question of what order. A very good friend of mine (pray for him!) thinks that I belong in an order that has Adoration. I have to say, I partly agree. Part of me wonders, though, if Our Lord isn't asking me to adore Him in a different fashion. Carmel is a desert as well as a garden, and a Carmelite adores her Spouse hidden within her soul since she is a Tabernacle of Him. Anyway, I lack trust, and I lack patience if you can't tell already. My job right now is to pass chemistry without causing poor Sr. Mary Helen too much grief!! Lest anyone think I'm dieing to leave home, that's not it at all. I love my family immensely, but also am eager to begin to live for Him! Eh, this whole paragraph will seem like a complete muddled mess unless you know where I'm coming from. In fact, it's probably better just to ignore it! (-;

I have to write a comparison paper between Thorton Wilder's OUR TOWN and a movie called STEEL MAGNOLIAS. I'm afraid, if I'm not careful, the whole paper is going to digress into a spiel about the degeneration of today's families. I am more than blessed with the parents I have. I thank God for my family every day of my life. Our Holy Father sure knows what he's talking about when he speaks of the "culture of death." It's so evident in school. If parents don't love God, how can they possibly expect to provide an atmosphere conducive to raising kids? Well, we have the Holy Family as a model of the sanctity of marriage and motherhood/fatherhood. That's quite something to live up to!

Speaking of the Holy Family, merry Christmas everyone!! May the love of the Infant Jesus be the joy of your days!


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